Sometimes you don't have to say a thing to be heard loud and clear. I was going to try and be clever with a funny blog about my battle with the stomach flu that left me with chapped butt cheeks and no toilet paper. That's not going to happen. I have more important stuff to write about.
The problem is very simple. I'm an addict. I tell you no lie my friends I truly am an addict. The funny thing is most of my friends were as well at one point. I suppose when you hang around people addicted to one of the most powerful drugs on the face of the planet, you might get hooked yourself. I'm not talking about heroin, meth, or even cocaine. It would take too long to explain and for those that do know what I'm talking about, no explanation is needed. Okay, okay enough of me trying to be witty and make some grand blog entrance.
If you fast forward to 2009, you'll find me a Shadow of my former self and I'm fine with that. I'm in the gym, at the dinner table, and out of touch and I'm okay with that too. I make my living in the same industry and I really enjoy it. I'm sure in my younger days if I saw myself walking along the side of the street I would have been talking shit about me all day long. After reading all of what has been typed, you need to know a couple of things that I just don't know how to put in words.
Anthony Pappalardo is a mystery to most. You rarely see the guy and when you do, it's always good. I can say all of this because I remember seeing photos and video of the guy all the time and now most of that is just a memory. That was until I discovered VBS.TV's Epicly Laterd program. Patrick, thanks for doing something like this. I've never met you and don't know you what so ever, but I can appreciate what you have done and the memories I get watching your show. So with that being said, watch this last segment and be amazed just like I was. I hope that one day I can think for myself just like Anthony and without thinking twice about who is going to give a crap. Just like Red quoting Andy in the Shawshank Redemption...."Get busy livin or get busy dyin...thats goddamn right."
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Obama's Chili Dogs Don't Bite
I'm a slacker. I knew this was going to happen. I created this blog in hopes of updating the thing every week and now 17 days later I am getting to it. Well I suppose a later update is better than no update at all. I'm trying to figure out where to start this thing today. My mind is going a million miles per hour with all the stuff I have been planning on talking about and I can't find a creative way to start this entry. Wait a minute, I think I may have an idea.
Okay I am from the Midwest and I can vividly remember going to this place that was a ripoff of Chuck E. Cheese but with a slightly different concept. You see this place served hot dogs instead of pizza and had all kinds of video games and fun stuff to do. It was also in the ghetto. Go figure. I lived in an average neighborhood but if you traveled about three miles south of where I lived, you could get jacked for your Nikes if you went down the wrong street. The name of the place I am talking about was called Diggity Dogs . With all the sketchy people walking the area where Diggity Dogs was located, nothing ever happened to anyone eating there. For some strange reason I have this feeling that Diggitys is still serving hot dogs and birthday cake to this very day. Okay now with that being said, watch this............
Okay I am from the Midwest and I can vividly remember going to this place that was a ripoff of Chuck E. Cheese but with a slightly different concept. You see this place served hot dogs instead of pizza and had all kinds of video games and fun stuff to do. It was also in the ghetto. Go figure. I lived in an average neighborhood but if you traveled about three miles south of where I lived, you could get jacked for your Nikes if you went down the wrong street. The name of the place I am talking about was called Diggity Dogs . With all the sketchy people walking the area where Diggity Dogs was located, nothing ever happened to anyone eating there. For some strange reason I have this feeling that Diggitys is still serving hot dogs and birthday cake to this very day. Okay now with that being said, watch this............
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Randomness
I don't really have any new stories to share today but I thought I needed to update the blog. I made this deal with myself and it was to keep the blog updated. So I guess I am keeping my end of the deal I made with myself? Anyway I thought I would talk about some current events.
Unless you are living under a rock, I know you saw or read what happened to that kid in Berkley. I will assume you did not and give you the short version. BART cops hassle some kids/people, people tape the incident, kid gets shot after what looks like no wrong doing on the kid's part, and now the aftermath ensues. After watching the incident I feel pretty confused and pissed off. I get even more pissed off when people riot after the fact and just destroy shit for no reason. I am just as mad as anyone about the whole thing and the way it was handled but you don't see me setting my neighbors car on fire over it. That is just plain dumb. If anything it almost validates the fact the BART police need to carry guns. I know that sounds ridiculous but think about it. It just shows our community is so uncivilized that after a tragic incident we are going to go ape shit and destroy our living environment. That my friends is whack. I guess I will never understand some people's thought patterns.
Now on to my next topic. I want to talk just for a second about the radio and the current trends in today's music. What I mean by that is the crap and yes I mean complete crap you hear on the radio. Maybe as I grow older I get more and more bitter about certain things. One I feel strongly about is music. I have been very fortunate to have had a very wide range of friends while I was growing up. With that comes the development of a pretty good ear for music. Now I know that sounds almost arrogant of me to say but I am pretty confident that I can tell you what is good ear candy and what will end up in the dollar bin at Zia. Everyday at work I am reminded of this due to the radio being stuck on a certain popular radio station that will remain nameless.
It's all shit. There I said it. I know I am including all of the music as being crappy but when you play the same 10 songs over and over it begins to resemble a huge toilet that's clogged and the brown shit water runs over the rim flooding your bathroom and ruining your day. This could be compared to the overflow of terrible music out of the speakers ruining your ears. I can't believe people buy this stuff. Nobody really sings anymore due to that annoying robotic auto tune that has become so popular. Maybe it's just me. Yeah, it's probably me but if I hear Womanizer one more time I am going to stab my eardrums with a pair of scissors. There is a silver lining to this ordeal though. A new radio station has popped up as of late and I actually heard an old Gangstar song being played the other day. The down side to this is that the station obviously has some bugs to work out and at times can be extremely ghetto. The volume of the music can vary from time to time and go from being clearly audible to a complete, muted silence. One night in particular was actually really funny. It came to my attention, and everyone else listening, that whatever segment of their programming block being played was previously recorded. I think this might be fairly common. The only problem was the music started to skip. Now this may not be that big of a deal if you catch it in time but in this case nobody did....for a long time. The funny thing about that whole thing was that whoever was in charge at the time was obviously not at the station, taking a very long shit, or out cold counting sheep. Maybe they just let the place go on auto pilot while the disk plays? Regardless, there is one less employed DJ in this town I would imagine.
Well thanks for reading again and sorry for the lack of content. I promise as soon as I get my camera, good topics, photos, and stories will surely follow. See you next time.
JD
Unless you are living under a rock, I know you saw or read what happened to that kid in Berkley. I will assume you did not and give you the short version. BART cops hassle some kids/people, people tape the incident, kid gets shot after what looks like no wrong doing on the kid's part, and now the aftermath ensues. After watching the incident I feel pretty confused and pissed off. I get even more pissed off when people riot after the fact and just destroy shit for no reason. I am just as mad as anyone about the whole thing and the way it was handled but you don't see me setting my neighbors car on fire over it. That is just plain dumb. If anything it almost validates the fact the BART police need to carry guns. I know that sounds ridiculous but think about it. It just shows our community is so uncivilized that after a tragic incident we are going to go ape shit and destroy our living environment. That my friends is whack. I guess I will never understand some people's thought patterns.
Now on to my next topic. I want to talk just for a second about the radio and the current trends in today's music. What I mean by that is the crap and yes I mean complete crap you hear on the radio. Maybe as I grow older I get more and more bitter about certain things. One I feel strongly about is music. I have been very fortunate to have had a very wide range of friends while I was growing up. With that comes the development of a pretty good ear for music. Now I know that sounds almost arrogant of me to say but I am pretty confident that I can tell you what is good ear candy and what will end up in the dollar bin at Zia. Everyday at work I am reminded of this due to the radio being stuck on a certain popular radio station that will remain nameless.
It's all shit. There I said it. I know I am including all of the music as being crappy but when you play the same 10 songs over and over it begins to resemble a huge toilet that's clogged and the brown shit water runs over the rim flooding your bathroom and ruining your day. This could be compared to the overflow of terrible music out of the speakers ruining your ears. I can't believe people buy this stuff. Nobody really sings anymore due to that annoying robotic auto tune that has become so popular. Maybe it's just me. Yeah, it's probably me but if I hear Womanizer one more time I am going to stab my eardrums with a pair of scissors. There is a silver lining to this ordeal though. A new radio station has popped up as of late and I actually heard an old Gangstar song being played the other day. The down side to this is that the station obviously has some bugs to work out and at times can be extremely ghetto. The volume of the music can vary from time to time and go from being clearly audible to a complete, muted silence. One night in particular was actually really funny. It came to my attention, and everyone else listening, that whatever segment of their programming block being played was previously recorded. I think this might be fairly common. The only problem was the music started to skip. Now this may not be that big of a deal if you catch it in time but in this case nobody did....for a long time. The funny thing about that whole thing was that whoever was in charge at the time was obviously not at the station, taking a very long shit, or out cold counting sheep. Maybe they just let the place go on auto pilot while the disk plays? Regardless, there is one less employed DJ in this town I would imagine.
Well thanks for reading again and sorry for the lack of content. I promise as soon as I get my camera, good topics, photos, and stories will surely follow. See you next time.
JD
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Hodge Podge Sunday
I think I might be setting the bar too high with back to back blog posts but I figured since it's rainy and grey outside, I might as well pass the time. I don't really have a theme for this blog nor do I think I need one. I suppose if all the entries were about the same thing then it might get boring. My interests are so varied and abstract that it should make for some interesting stuff from time to time.
Here is the thing. I'm interested in a whole bunch of stuff. None of which really seems to mirror each other in subject matter. One minute I could be talking about amino acids and then the next I could be talking about a pair of boots I once had as a kid. With that being said, I feel I need to buy myself a camera so I can snap some photos of my blog topics. I have a feeling some people are not going to be very stoked on that idea. The crazy lady that called me an asshole last week at Circle K would have been particularly pissed off I can imagine. I will tell you what happened.
I'm on my way to work and it's fairly early on a Saturday morning for me. I don't like being rushed for work so I try to leave with plenty of time to get there and open things up at my own pace. This particular morning I stopped at the local Circle K for a cup of coffee and a gallon of water. In my 32 years of being on this earth I have never purchased a cup of coffee from Circle K. Yes I know that may seem very strange. Well I can also tell you I have never seen a full episode of The Simpsons or South Park so I'm sure that puts me in the one percent of people that either don't have a television or are blind. Anyway, back to the story. I had no idea Circle K was the center of the coffee universe. All I wanted was a cup of regular coffee and I was blasted with about 27 different choices. So here I am faced with this dellima, I have time to kill, and I'm still partially asleep. This does not put me in a very chipper mood.
As I look at all the various choices, in walks crazy lady. We have all seen crazy lady and she has many siblings in every state in our country and now that I think about it, every other country too. She is dressed in long flannel pajama bottoms, flip flops with socks, and a Dallas Cowboys pullover that looks to have been found in a dumpster. As she walks in the front door of the store, I hear a squawk much like a mating call of a tropical bird which draws my attention for a brief moment. I then hear "hey you!!" yelled at such a volume that is not acceptable to my ears this early in the morning. I just ignore it. Crazy lady now proceeds to stand next to me and ask me what I'm doing at which time I respond "I'm getting a cup of coffee which is why I am over in this section". That didn't go over too well. She looked at me and made something that resembled the bitter beer face and then filled her cup with coffee at which time she took about three steps toward the front counter and turned to face me and blurted out "asshole". I was shocked. I didn't really know what to say or do. After absorbing the incident, it started to become very funny and I started laughing to myself. That didn't go over too well either. Apparently crazy lady was very serious about calling me an asshole and didn't take too kindly to the fact that I found it funny. Mumblings of profanity followed and then I started having visions of being stabbed with a rusty screwdriver or shanked with a tooth brush ground to such a point that it could be easily confused for an ice pick.
This leads me to this quick random thought. Why do crazy people always have weapons made out of the most random shit? Now being crazy should not be confused with being poor. I can totally understand if someone is homeless or poor and needs a little protection, but for someone who has some money, why not get something legit? It's like they have all these items in front of them to choose from and they pick the most obscure item. "Okay I have a .38 pistol, Rambo knife, brass knuckles, and a pizza cutter.....I think I'll choose the pizza cutter." Unless I plan on getting into a confrontation with the Dominos delivery guy, that's about my last possible choice. Okay, back to the story. So as I leave I decide if that lady shanks me, I'm choke slamming the bitch into the lottery ticket display. Wait a second here. All this over a cup of coffee? Seriously?
If I would have had a camera this story would have been much better. If you could have seen the look on crazy lady's face it would have been priceless. I didn't end up choke slamming anyone and I didn't end up in the emergency room getting tetanus shots for a puncture wound so I guess it turned out just how it should of. I ended up with a cup of coffee, a gallon of water, and a new entry for my blog. I did an article for a website many moons ago that involved doing a ghetto beer tasting and it turned out pretty good. I'm thinking of doing something like this again but with full picture documentation. The best part about this will be the fact I don't drink. However for the good of creative journalism and the blog, I might throw caution to the wind and poison my soul as well as soil my pants for the endeavour. Until next blog.....
JD
Here is the thing. I'm interested in a whole bunch of stuff. None of which really seems to mirror each other in subject matter. One minute I could be talking about amino acids and then the next I could be talking about a pair of boots I once had as a kid. With that being said, I feel I need to buy myself a camera so I can snap some photos of my blog topics. I have a feeling some people are not going to be very stoked on that idea. The crazy lady that called me an asshole last week at Circle K would have been particularly pissed off I can imagine. I will tell you what happened.
I'm on my way to work and it's fairly early on a Saturday morning for me. I don't like being rushed for work so I try to leave with plenty of time to get there and open things up at my own pace. This particular morning I stopped at the local Circle K for a cup of coffee and a gallon of water. In my 32 years of being on this earth I have never purchased a cup of coffee from Circle K. Yes I know that may seem very strange. Well I can also tell you I have never seen a full episode of The Simpsons or South Park so I'm sure that puts me in the one percent of people that either don't have a television or are blind. Anyway, back to the story. I had no idea Circle K was the center of the coffee universe. All I wanted was a cup of regular coffee and I was blasted with about 27 different choices. So here I am faced with this dellima, I have time to kill, and I'm still partially asleep. This does not put me in a very chipper mood.
As I look at all the various choices, in walks crazy lady. We have all seen crazy lady and she has many siblings in every state in our country and now that I think about it, every other country too. She is dressed in long flannel pajama bottoms, flip flops with socks, and a Dallas Cowboys pullover that looks to have been found in a dumpster. As she walks in the front door of the store, I hear a squawk much like a mating call of a tropical bird which draws my attention for a brief moment. I then hear "hey you!!" yelled at such a volume that is not acceptable to my ears this early in the morning. I just ignore it. Crazy lady now proceeds to stand next to me and ask me what I'm doing at which time I respond "I'm getting a cup of coffee which is why I am over in this section". That didn't go over too well. She looked at me and made something that resembled the bitter beer face and then filled her cup with coffee at which time she took about three steps toward the front counter and turned to face me and blurted out "asshole". I was shocked. I didn't really know what to say or do. After absorbing the incident, it started to become very funny and I started laughing to myself. That didn't go over too well either. Apparently crazy lady was very serious about calling me an asshole and didn't take too kindly to the fact that I found it funny. Mumblings of profanity followed and then I started having visions of being stabbed with a rusty screwdriver or shanked with a tooth brush ground to such a point that it could be easily confused for an ice pick.
This leads me to this quick random thought. Why do crazy people always have weapons made out of the most random shit? Now being crazy should not be confused with being poor. I can totally understand if someone is homeless or poor and needs a little protection, but for someone who has some money, why not get something legit? It's like they have all these items in front of them to choose from and they pick the most obscure item. "Okay I have a .38 pistol, Rambo knife, brass knuckles, and a pizza cutter.....I think I'll choose the pizza cutter." Unless I plan on getting into a confrontation with the Dominos delivery guy, that's about my last possible choice. Okay, back to the story. So as I leave I decide if that lady shanks me, I'm choke slamming the bitch into the lottery ticket display. Wait a second here. All this over a cup of coffee? Seriously?
If I would have had a camera this story would have been much better. If you could have seen the look on crazy lady's face it would have been priceless. I didn't end up choke slamming anyone and I didn't end up in the emergency room getting tetanus shots for a puncture wound so I guess it turned out just how it should of. I ended up with a cup of coffee, a gallon of water, and a new entry for my blog. I did an article for a website many moons ago that involved doing a ghetto beer tasting and it turned out pretty good. I'm thinking of doing something like this again but with full picture documentation. The best part about this will be the fact I don't drink. However for the good of creative journalism and the blog, I might throw caution to the wind and poison my soul as well as soil my pants for the endeavour. Until next blog.....
JD
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Welcome!
Hello everyone!
I'm not sure how many people I will be able to lump into the category of "everyone" seeing as this is the first post and not too many people know of this idea yet. Hopefully people will find my very random and often times strange thought patterns funny and entertaining. I suppose many might find it boring and retarded as well but I guess that's what the little red "X" is for in the upper right hand corner of your screen. I hope to keep this blog current and filled with new stuff on the regular.
I have to give credit where credit is due. The name of my blog is from the movie Fletch. Chevy Chase wrote a column for the newspaper he worked for under the alias Jane Doe. Because I find the man to be a comedic genius, I am naming my blog after his character in those films. Just so you know, Poon is Comanche Indian. See below photo for proof. Until next time.
JD
I'm not sure how many people I will be able to lump into the category of "everyone" seeing as this is the first post and not too many people know of this idea yet. Hopefully people will find my very random and often times strange thought patterns funny and entertaining. I suppose many might find it boring and retarded as well but I guess that's what the little red "X" is for in the upper right hand corner of your screen. I hope to keep this blog current and filled with new stuff on the regular.
I have to give credit where credit is due. The name of my blog is from the movie Fletch. Chevy Chase wrote a column for the newspaper he worked for under the alias Jane Doe. Because I find the man to be a comedic genius, I am naming my blog after his character in those films. Just so you know, Poon is Comanche Indian. See below photo for proof. Until next time.
JD
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